Attention snack food connoisseurs worldwide….
A culinary catastrophe of biblical proportions may be imminent! Hostess has warned its entire workforce that they may be laid off in July as part of a Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing last January. It’s bad enough that many musical icons of my generation, including Donna Summer just a few days ago, are no longer with us. At least they live on through their music. Which means future generations will have the opportunity to enjoy what I did.
But can you imagine Hostess going out of business if Chapter 11 reorganization fails? Can you imagine a world devoid of gen-you-wine Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Sno-balls? Can you imagine a generation that has no memory of such exquisite tastes?
Even though I did not grow up in the U.S. I did grow up with Hostess. Yes, half way across the world I was still able to enjoy one of America’s finest exports.
For me, it was pink Sno-balls. It was the preferred recess snack and dessert after dinner, probably because I love coconut. (Twinkies didn’t do much for me and I never heard of Ding Dongs until I arrived in the U.S., where I was introduced to, and became a loyal consumer of, the “southern” Ding Dong: Moon Pies.)
For a reason I cannot think of, my consumption of Sno-balls plummeted after coming to the U.S. In college, I lived and dined on campus and Sno-balls were nowhere to be found. After four years of college, my Sno-ball cravings had been subsumed. Hostess products are not available in my grocery store, and I guess it is the plague of “out of sight, out of mind” that explains how I became part of the problem Hostess now faces.
I’m sure if Hostess disappears there’ll be all sorts of imposters. Some factory in Dongding will see a…sweet…opportunity in peddling their own versions of Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Sno-balls, probably with a “special” ingredient: powdered Chinese drywall. Desperate folks may consume these concoctions… and suffer accordingly.
A more palatable alternative is to save Hostess. I am now seeking a source for pink Sno-balls, most likely a convenience store or truck stop. Because, with apologies to Gen. MacArthur, there is no substitute for Hostess!